Its not like I am explaining anything new when I say Women are different than Men. I have worked with women in business for quite sometime. I think that whenever this subject comes up, everyone just tiptoes around the real truth. I figured that if there was any topic I write about, this one is sure to get some comments!
When I first started working I had a Female boss. Her name was Mona. She ran the Tom Thumb I worked at when I was 16 years old. (For the record let me just say I hated that job. Not because of Mona but because of the store. Looking back however, I do appreciate what I have done.) Mona, was kind of rough around the edges. She smoked allot and because of that she had a rough leathery face and a smokers laugh. Actually, it was not a laugh. It was more like a smokers heckle.
Mona, was very strict and I never had a problem with her. I never thought anything of her being a woman. She was just my boss. Under her was Misti. Another female. Misti was kind of cute, just a little bit older but kind of bossy. I was just a migrant worker so I didn’t care. I just did what I was told and collected a check. I was working at a grocery store. It wasn’t like I was about to solve world problems by sacking groceries. Needless to say, I never had a problem one with my female bosses.
Fast forward to the early 90′s where I first got my start in the dot com era. My first interaction with a real business woman was named Rhonda. I never really had any problems with her. She seemed to be confident in what she did and I was glad for that. At that time, I didn’t really have the rough and tough attitude most of you know today. I still had that Tom Thumb Mentality.
As time grew on I found myself wanting to be more competitive in business. There is where the conflict begins. I watch these shows like the Apprentice and think wow these women are off the charts evil. I think it relates back to some of these bad relationships I had created early on. The first client that basically chewed me to pieces was a woman who I cannot even remember her name. Let’s call her Mary. Mary was so aggressive I had no idea how to handle the situation. The issues we had seemed to just get worse and worse til the point we both ended up yelling at each other. Looking back I have no idea really why it got to be such an issue.
Fast forward to more recently when I sold my first company at 27. I had been working with a bunch of guys. I don’t know how it happened but the majority of them all were guys and there is a certain code that we all seem to follow and their are hidden boundaries that we all know and respect but we still refuse to cross those boundaries. When a woman enters that realm and you have no experience in a mixed-sex environment, it could get ugly. The things I say can be interpreted differently and the things she says can be interpreted differently. Combine that with body language and you have all the elements of an relationship napalm bomb.
I remember clear as day when the other company bought us out. It was time to discuss salary. The CFO a woman came down to my office. She was told by the CEO of the parent company to get down on paper what we wanted for payment. I started out with basic pleasantries and it was going good so far. I had nothing against anyone at this point. She asked me what I wanted and she paused when I answered. She looked at me in the eye and moved her lips to the right corner of her mouth. I can still see the light glisten off of her peach fuss above her lip. I remember thinking oh no, I hope she does not think I’m staring at her moustache. From that point on it seemed like all out war. More like a cold war than an actual war. She was not my boss but I could feel a competition.
In the next few months I learned the power of women’s networking. Wow! There is some kind of in born nature to really communicate in ways men still have yet to figure out. I have met many women in business and I think this is the strongest asset over men. Men do not talk like Women. I all of the sudden had all but one of the ladies against me in the office. I was not used to this kind of pressure and to be honest I just blew it off and ignored it. My life works best without drama. Until one day!
One of the ladies must have been having a bad day. She was probably my age or a little younger. Stormed in my office demanded to talk to me and proceeded to rip me a new one for not including her on something. Let me tell you. She must have been having a really bad day, So was I. I listened to her and then she stormed out of my office. I tried so hard not to let it get to me but well, I’m IRISH and there are two things we are known for and I wasn’t drinking Guinness that day. I marched in right after her and I really hate that I blew up at her but I did.
That day, I think I learned an extremely valuable lesson again about Women. If they could say one thing to us it would be: “MEN SHUT UP AND LISTEN”. I was actually at a business mixer last night and a woman by the name of Sharon Roberts talked about “The Language of Brain Sex”. Its not exactly as it sounds. She specifically talked about the differences between men and women and how they communicate. Her new book coming out is called:”Women don’t gossip, They Advertise!”. Ultimately that is what it is. Advertising, good or bad. Look her up because I think she has some very powerful points for men and women.
Men and Women in the workplace have challenges but I think that it takes life experience to not only learn how to communicate with people but with people of the opposite sex. Today I do not have a problem with Men or Women. However, I will let you know really fast if you piss me off. It’s about working through your issues because you never know who you will end up working with or for in the future. Understanding how your fellow man/woman sees the world will help you live harmoniously together.
As I write this my wife is asking me if she will go to bed alone. I find myself stopping, listening and answering. To be honest, my Male Brain is telling me: “Ignore her, talk to her in bed and get this done… focus.. focus… focus…”. If I listened to him, I probably wouldn’t have a bed to go to. 
Until next time! I’m out!
Jeremy: Your remarks are not offensive, they are realistic. My experience is that women tend to do a start up for example, by starting it up. Men on the other hand make a business plan. We think different and communicate in an entirely different style. Think about the mis communications that arise in a marriage alone and then multiply that by the interactions that happen within an office and with clients. Women do business entirely different and in my networking experience, create more successful relationship based networks which are stronger and more efficient. We have our own brand of good old girls because we have had to use different skill sets and tools to get where we are and it is a bond.
Yes, I must admit. Guys have nothing on the women’s network. My wife told me she could never be in sales a couple years ago. I told her we are all in sales. She really had a hard time at first and I would like to take the credit to her success. I can’t she has done everything by working hard and establishing her network and using her Women’s network to the max. Maybe oneday she will actually read my blog.